im_naku X JOENNmusic
All of the songs in this album are written from my own personal experiences. This one explores the concept of imposter syndrome and doubt in other people.
It's been so long since I've felt this way and I know that I'm not the same. If I could do all the things I've said would I still be within my head?
It starts off with me expressing how long it's been since I've felt confident in my creative passions and how I feel like it can always be better if I'd follow through with all the projects and promises I made.
It takes too long just to feel okay. Don't get me wrong I am not insane. As soon as I finally feel in place something pulls me from this grace
I begin to worry about how long it can take to feel comfortable with whatever you're working on and how fleeting it can be.
Does it matter what they say when they're the reason you stay? Do they really like my face when behind the scenes it's not their taste?
So this line actually comes from some feelings I felt in the past. When I first started my VR DJ arc- I somehow heard that certain individuals were being critical and negative about my performances. Since then, I've always questioned myself like, should I care what people think? I mean if there was no one listening, why should I perform or create stuff? I mean should it matter? It's just a lot of general overthinking that anyone goes through.
For way too long I will hide my face. Until then will you save my place.
Just a line about general insecurities. Artists are always their own biggest critics and a lot of my original song ideas never see the light of day cause I never like how a lot of them sound.
So many times I have cursed your grave. I'm sorry mom, I just miss your face
A lot of times when we get frustrated with anything- we lash out and do things we don't mean. This line is just an indirect way of saying sometimes I do things my mom wouldn't be proud of and that I'm sorry I do these certain things.
Despite what I am going through it's not even that much to lose. So many out there have it worse and here I am thinking I am hurt.
Many of us feel like we need to be grateful for the things we have. It's very common to doubt these thoughts and this is just me running through those emotions.
Should it matter what they say cause without them why would I stay? Do they really like my face when behind the scenes I'm not that great.
The same feelings before about taking many criticisms and comments to heart and how sometimes we feel like we don't deserve the spotlight because of past actions or decisions.
So it matters what you say cause you're the reason I stayed. And I think they like my face cause behind the scenes they said I'm great.
The final lines of the song. I start to realize that its not what people say directly- but the actions that people take that back up their statements. I've also been hearing people say good things not directly to me as I've been growing and continuing my musical journey 😌