IF I HAD TIME
im_naku & JOENN
im_naku X JOENNmusic
If I Had Time was a track that was heavily inspired by Porter Robinson. He has been a huge inspiration in my musical journey, especially after his album Nurture. I wanted at least one song in the album to be completely porter-pilled to show my appreciation for his work. The basis of the song actually came from a piano stream. It was a random song idea!
As deadlines approach on projects we work on, we always feel like if we had allotted more time to that specific project, it could always be better.
This is me saying if I really did have time, that I could do anything I put my mind to; however, I tell myself that I don't. It's a double meaning, with "I just don't" referring to either me not having enough time, or me just choosing not to do whatever and believe I just don't have the time for it.
At the time of writing this song, I feel like I'm in a weird place emotionally in regards to romantic relationships. I know I'm in no place to think about that right now, but I still find myself growing attached to people. I see myself devoting so much of my time to my creative passions which is something I'm happy about, but I also see myself falling into certain unhealthy habits and end up leaving it up to someone else to make actual important decisions with the excuse of me not being well or ready for certain things.
Despite me sometimes indulging in these impulses, I still feel like connections are formed and don't want to hurt anyone directly anymore. The line essentially says after a long time, I hope we can remain close friends and I'll try to be the one to handle the pain and hide it from you.
Again on theme of not having enough time, I feel like I could continue to get closer with everyone if I just had more time to spare.
This is me realizing that even when I do have time, I tend to prioritize certain things and that it's impossible for me to make time for every single person. I start repeating to myself saying 'I don't know' because I question whether or not this is something I could fix or change or if its okay of if its bad or...
Reference to the first song of the album, using the title 'Finally' in the line.
Reference to '11am', expressing that waking up earlier would convey a healthier mindset if we finally just had enough time.
Reference to 'Do They Really Like My Face' expressing that we shouldn't be so rough on ourselves despite what anyone else says and with enough time, we'd understand that.
Reference to 'Food' playing with the line '...despite all of this...' and the general theme of that song.
Reference to 'One More Chance' saying that despite these choices, this last chance is all we would need if we had the time to spare.
Reference to 'Maybe I'm Wrong' using the start of the ending line: "I thought I had everything I wanted."
Reference to 'Xanny Part II' by referencing the general theme of 'Xanny.' The overall gist of the song is judging whether or not we are fine (Each chorus in Xanny ending with the subject of the song being fine or not).
Indirect reference to 'An Update To You' by referencing 'Dear My Mother' (Both songs are about my mom, and the word 'shine' is prominent in 'Dear My Mother'
The rhyming scheme found in the prior lines builds up the expectation of the word 'Time' but it gets cut off before I could sing it, showing that I ran out of time to finish the song.